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I’ve finally beat it and that’s thanks to the support of my family and friends as well as the work of Annie Grace – you can see my interview with her on the podcast/webcast. It lasted for several years and although there were times when I was able to put down the booze and pick up a protein shake, the monkey jumped back on me. It was a terrible period of self doubt and a deep feeling of insignificance that lead me to my binge. Personally, I gained all my weight back from drinking alcohol. I don’t have it! I tried and I got close but it just didn’t work for me. Hey, if you want to be “in shape” with a six pack and chiseled everything, more power to you! Some people don’t have the genetic makeup for that, period. They are happy and enjoying life as the beautiful perfect people that they are. While we respect the right of every person to decide what to do with their body, this page will not engage in or promote pro-diet or intentional weight loss discussions.” I love this approach because we see “fat shaming” all the time in our society and often it is not obvious…or it is? Look at any diet or fitness page or advertisement and you will see perfectly sculpted bodies drinking their scientifically designed shakes and doing exercises with ease. The Facebook Page Big Fit Deal ” is dedicated to helping everybody – and every body – find their fit. I really hope this happens to you, because I am ecstatic.

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I have movie projects in the works and although each day has challenges, I can face them with joy in my heart. Today is a fantastic day because I am no longer caught in the grips of that sadness and it is so easy to maintain an attitude of gratitude. But there was still the darkness – the emptiness, the sadness and I could not fix it. Those came in the form of my wife, Kelly and my kids. I lived that life for 16 years.ĭuring the time I was struggling, there were patches of happiness.

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I never sold my TV to get high or any of the other stereotypes, but I still felt empty inside unless I had a buzz. I was so depressed that I slowly fell into a spiral of drugs and alcohol. I wanted to make other people laugh and to think and to reflect on their own lives and appreciate what they had. I was so depressed from my position in life and all I wanted to do was create for a living. They would come home to their family and enjoy life. They were quite happy dressing warm in the winter and loved what they did for a living. I would watch movies and in those movies people lived lives they enjoyed. It was always hot and I was in a prison of a job.

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While living in Florida and working my first professional job, I was trapped. I remember seeing hosts with shows in many other states and how cool it would be. I remember when I wanted so badly to do radio, it was all I could think of. I was seriously blown away because I have had so many dreams of all of these things, but never at the same time. I have voice tracked radio shows in other markets: check

I live in a place that has 4 real seasons: check I try to think of all the things I am thankful for: my family, my home, my….holy crap! That’s when it hit me and all the voices in the crowded room that is my mind cried out, “Eureka!”Īs I was listing the things I am grateful for, something incredible dawned on me: ALL OF MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE. I try to get myself into an attitude of gratitude. This morning I sat with my meditation music (a playlist on Spotify) playing off my phone, the living room heater on and the cats running around the house like maniacs – they had just inhaled their breakfast. Imagine walking into a crowded room where everyone is talking – that’s my mind! Scary, isn’t it?

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It is hard to quiet my mind, it’s just a torrent of thoughts with voices and memories, reflections of things I’ve said from all throughout my life. I started stretching and meditating in an attempt to change my habits. I am so horribly out of shape and stiff that I felt enough was enough. I also started stretching yesterday – which I also did this morning. Each one is cleansing and as I fill my lungs, I imagine that life-giving air is absorbing any and all bad things, like a fluid sponge. It dissipates in the room and I take another breath. Right now, I take deep breaths and when I exhale, I imagine all of the stress and negativity that may be in me is expelled, as though it were smoke. I started meditating yesterday and I don’t know what I am doing. This happened to me while I was meditating this morning. Eureka! This is an exclamation of joy or satisfaction when someone realizes something.